Arnold Schwarzenegger tries to show Russians a different kind of strongman

Toxic Masculinity and It’s Deleterious Impact on Mental Health

What does it mean to be a “real man?” Is it the ability to lift heavy weights and strut in public shirtless as Vladimir Putin does? Or is manhood better defined as the concept of being a “gentleman?” The answer (hopefully) is obvious.

A well balanced person is what we social workers call being a “whole person.” A whole person is in touch with his or her feelings, is willing to be vulnerable and expressive and does not have to feign strength when feeling weak. A gentle man does not have the need to act tough and be unnaturally stoic.

Many people ask me how is it that I am now a social worker/therapist after being a Special Agent of the FBI for 31 years? The answer is simple: When I was with the FBI I knew that real toughness is demonstrating courage in the face of danger. When I went on raids I knew I may be injured or killed. And I was scared. But I did it anyway. Bravery is defined as overcoming fear, not the absence of it.

I have discovered that in therapy the clients who are willing to confront their fears and are willing to be open about their vulnerabilities do the best. I use EMDR frequently in treating PTSD. EMDR requires revisiting trauma. It can be emotionally draining. But healing often involves working through the pain, not avoiding it. Courage is required, in spite of fear. This is the parallel between law enforcement and social work. It is the reason I am Licensed Independent Social Worker who loves his profession.